Toddler Stuck in Claw Machine

I read in the news yesterday that a toddler got stuck in a claw machine because he wanted a stuffed animal. Apparently, the kid realized the goddamn machine was ripping him off and decided to crawl inside and take what he wanted. After awhile he was released from his fluffy Plexiglas prison and left-- empty handed. What the fuck? The little shit displayed intelligence way ahead of his time (learning that arcade machines are the mechanized Mafia, extorting the hard earned quarters from the kids of hard working people, and creepy middle-aged Asians) and he didn't get a prize? I would have got the kid a fuckin prostitute to complement the level of intellect he had shown. I blame the Liberals. Especially the really ugly ones (Hillary Clinton, Rosie O'Donnell, Saddam Hussein).

Our Specials today include half priced Whine and a lovely Deep-dish Bullshit

I am tired of people. People do so many annoying things. The two most annoying things a person can do are to whine and to bullshit. Some examples of whining include: "You aren't doing ___ right. waaaaaaaa" "But I wanted to ____. Boo Hoo" Knock Knock: Shut the fuck up. No one cares about whatever you're whining about. If they did, then you wouldn't have to whine. As much as whining annoys me, I loathe bullshit. Bullshit encompasses many things, from a little exaggeration (which is usually fine) to bold faced lies. For example, the other day someone remarked : "You know, I threw that stuff out that was right here." To which I replied: "No, I did that on Friday when I was cleaning the room." "Oh, I must have thrown out another one."
I left it at that, because now this person has lied to me twice. I know i threw out both things he's talking about, but he doesn't know that I did, which makes him look like an asshole. I think liers should hang from the ceiling by their balls while schoolchildren get to hit them in their lying mouth. I guess what I am getting at is that I strongly dislike lying. And I will end you if you piss me off.